The Monday that killed the weekend.

I have on my coffee table a 200pg report that needs not only to be read and understood but also to be analyzed. On my desktop sits a folder full of raw information begging to be thoroughly read, organized and summarized into a 3 page dossier on a subject I would normally care less about (Anthrax). On my office desk at work lays a 13page report needing to be typed by yours truly. Strewn on my dirty beige carpet are newspaper clippings of job-adverts with just around the corner deadlines. Somewhere on this couch, trapped between my bony bottom and the cushion is my mobile phone incessantly buzzing and trilling; messages to be replied, phone calls to be returned , emails to be read and reminders either to do this or that. On my kitchen table is a pile of bills all calling for some kind of attention which I can’t look into right now because as you may well know bills come in before the check from your employer. Why is that anyway? I’m sure the universe has an explanation.


All of the above messy shyt needs to be sorted by Monday; that is the day after tomorrow and that is also why I am home at 10a.m, in pajamas on a bright sunny Saturday! Normally, I would be out riding in an old, small but amazing Suzuki with my new friend Chuck (who thinks driving at 140kph on a wet road without safety belts is pretty adventurous- I agree) or out in the market trying my hand at the grocery business or whatever it is organized people do over the weekend. However, its urgent that I put my life together or soon you’ll be hearing from an in-between-jobs-30-year-old who lives with her mother!


Procrastination is one of my numerous impediments to a joyous weekend and the reason I have the 200pg report I borrowed from a private library 2 weeks ago in order to be well prepared for an assignment coming up soon and probably the reason I am writing this unimpressive article just to avoid looking into the report. I need to be well read not so much because I love working on projects I know nothing about but because I need the remuneration to offset the above mentioned bills. That I am jobless is the reason I am unable to pay my bills and the reason you will read this and other articles long after they were written seeing as my internet connection was recently disconnected (just incase you were wondering, it was a staggering amount, that my monthly allowance couldn’t easily offset).


Regarding the 13pg typing job; this is my lame attempt at being likeable at the office so I take up the typing job though I know I’ll be unable to finish it because I am already swamped. Why I would do that is because I am aiming at Intern-of-the-year award, we are talking future prospects. What are the chances they will miss me after I am gone? Miss me so much that when I throw in an application for a job the boss will rule in favour of, yes, me! Ok that is my game plan, which officially renders me a buttpecker! No other way.


So now to the 3pg-Anthrax-dosier, well, that is supposed to sort out another aspect of my life which I tend to ignore but is equally important seeing as I don’t want to end up as the old-cat-lady who left ALL her wealth (don’t forget hard earned from a successful career) to her 67 assortment of cats (I hate cats and reptiles, mostly reptiles). Well, not a single dime to charity because she is bitter at her choices; strange how this epiphany comes at a point where she can do absolutely nothing to the situation! Ok, back to the point, Anthrax! I mean Chuck, this nice awesome guy I met a while ago, and I know I said he is my friend but that’s what he thinks I have a different strategy. Don’t give me that look; it’s hard to find love. Sometimes it calls for one to create a situation for love to happen. Shoot! Now I sound like the women who trap men, whatever! Story for another day.


And that brings us to the abrupt and untimely end of this funeral, R.I.P Mr.This Weekend, you will be missed. Hope to catch your bro Mr. Next Weekend, I have a good feeling *wink*.

Ps: This post was unearthed from my offline blog. Dated October 24th 2009. FYI: I have become more organised (the magic, as i found out is not in being less engaged, it is in not procrastinating) and Chuck turned out to be sadly, a JERK! yeah.

Let's get retarded.

Only a retard would think like this!


See they always tell you to be and think positive, about everything whether good or bad. So for a long time it was hard for me to do the positive thing and I would wallow in self pity for days on end with absolutely no effort to pick myself up. Over the years though, I met people who have marveled me with their almost miraculous ability to bring themselves up even after life-changing things happen to them. While I was busy being there for them mopping and being sad, they were lifting their spirits and turning their misery around. In no time I was the one caught up in their past while they had long moved on (how ironical). In the recent past quite a number of things have gone awry (so much for being a staunch control freak) and in the process shook a lot of things I have based my faith and basically my whole life on. Normally when such things happen you kinda get depressed and become a loser or you take what life throws at you and make lemonade as they put it.

This time round, instead of slipping into depression I decided to try this positive approach/law of attraction thingy just to see if it works and prove them wrong, so I told myself. Truth is I was desperate for anything that would make it better and from my interaction with people I knew better than to allow myself to sink into the deep seas of misery. Let’s take a look at how it worked for me:

Were it not for the strike that my university had, I would not have been home for four months looking for attachment/internship, I would never have gone to the many firms I went to job hunting only for them to decline my request prompting me to seek work at this other org which I was sure would never have taken me in since it was a satellite office working on a new project that I knew absolutely nothing about. *breathe* As you may have gathered, after a few cancelled meetings I was able to get in-touch with some fellow from the office who felt his docket could use an assistant and that is how I landed my internship.

It later turned out that the guy who helped me get my internship did not do it in accordance to the laid down procedure and was thus at loggerheads with the overall boss leading to my state of uncertainty which also made me push my alleged supervisor to formalize my internship or else I would just quit (not like that would in anyway affect him but it felt good to let him know that I will not be used; not to say he wasn’t using me already). Him taking his sweet time to sort out the issue led me into doing some other application which led me to some office which I was later so grateful I went to, not that I got the job but I sort of scored in another area of my life that needed a little fixing so to speak, I have been single for the past two years! If that doesn’t qualify for/as chronic singlehood I don’t know what does!

I guess what I’m trying to say is; I ‘think’ I met a guy who is making me very happy! No details, besides the fact that we are taking it slow and that it feels really good to have someone I can talk to and who most importantly thinks I am funny. I might have not mentioned this before but I am very insecure about what people think about me, big problem if they think I am not funny! What good am I if I can’t make you laugh? My stint as the entertainment captain/comedian in high school is definitely to blame. Anyone who doesn’t laugh at my jokes is perceived as an unpleasant authority, courtesy of my dad who thinks my kind of funny is rather unfunny, oh well, he doesn’t know what he is missing. Whatever happened in his childhood to make him that way is beyond me.

Ps: I dug out this blog from my archived- offline blogs. It was dated, July 2009. 8 months down the line and he still laughs at my jokes, FYI.

TELLING IT AS IT IS- The Electra Complex.

I am going to begin by declaring that I am an optimist in every sense of the word and that I know of individuals in relationships that are not headed anywhere; they have so much faith in themselves, their partners and their unions that they believe everything is possible (first, lets agree that according to nature, not everything is possible irrespective of the numerous possibilities in existence) and that one day things would change for the better. What these people will learn later (others when it’s too late) is that things may never change in the union but that doesn’t necessarily mean that things in their love life will never take a positive turn. Often people miss this point by tying themselves down to one person and one situation without exploring other options. That is where we fail.

Please do not get me wrong, I am not saying take to the hills at the slightest sign of trouble, no. Stick it out if you have to but be wise and flexible enough to pin point a good deal or when you are being taken for a ride. Trust me, it’s for your own good that you keep evaluating your union and be open enough to self criticize while at it- it’s quite healthy to kill the ‘you’ that stops you from growing.
If you are one of those people who posses faith that moves mountains I do not blame you… hope is very important in life and love –so it’s allowed. Now, as much as it’s ok to believe that things will be ok we also have to be critical and level headed when we approach certain things especially those whose consequences we have to live with for a long time.

My friend Lucas was beginning to wear me out with his never-ending tales of brawls with his girlfriend of two years, so I decided to take up the matter seriously and for the first time stop pretending to care and actually try to help. I am not by any qualifications or otherwise a relationships or marriage counselor but as a friend it is expected of me (more like an obligation) to be there as the shoulder he can freely cry on and as his eyes... maybe because love is blind, I don’t know. Of course this was against my policy of ‘non-interference’ when it comes to lovebirds, but I did it anyway… if only to save my besotted friend from the misery that is his love life. Talk of trying to save a sinking ship! I see you raising your eyebrow and wondering out loud what kind of a pal I am, well, I am the good kind, you’ll see why.

This twosome doesn’t seem to get along at all and in my quiet moments I cannot help but wonder how they found each other let alone what the attraction was, its however irrelevant to the direction we are steering to so lets drop it for now. I never really liked the girl but not like it matters because I am being totally unbiased here (really). Believe me when I say this chic is strangely out of kilter and from her account of her six previous relationships its hard to tell why she never once found a relationship she could settle for. Its just amazing how they keep fighting… day in day out and most astonishing is the things they come to blows over… small things! I mean, why should we slap each other with the ‘cold treatment’ for days on end just because I won’t place the socks in the laundry basket or because I didn’t arrive home at exactly half past five as agreed. As if my boss or the traffic jam cares why I have to be home on time. So the story that broke the Carmel’s back (I being Carmel) is when Lucas came to me in tears recounting how Sarah won’t stop making crazy demands on him and he didn’t know how to make it stop, “She puts curfews on me, forbids me to be with my friends and family!” we have to agree that people who won’t let you socialize have some very serious issues (high levels of insecurity, low self-esteem, poor communication skills…list is endless.) “Even worse, nothing I do is ever good enough,” he sobbed.

As at now my friend is a very frustrated man more so because he doesn’t seem to understand the ‘love-of-his-life’… boy clearly didn’t do his homework before investing in the union.
In my search for un-warlike means to bring and keep this loving duo together once and for all I came across a very strange but common phenomena advanced by one Carl Jung, who from Freud’s theory of the Oedipus complex advanced a concept known as the Bernfield factor or the Electra complex. As documented and agreed upon by experts in Psychology; a strong and consistent male presence in a girl’s life has a significant effect on her self esteem. Feeling attractive and loved by “daddy” (or other strong male figure) can help a girl have more confidence and strength. Of course the vice-versa applies. Without that, girls may express daddy issues in seeking out father figures, or placing even very good men with whom they are in relationship, in positions that they really can’t adequately fill. Bingo!

From this profound piece of information I found the disease that was slowly eating up my friend without his knowledge or the girlfriend’s for that matter. So this chic was unknowingly dissatisfied and was seeking to fill whatever gap his father left. On impulse I was about to call my friend and say quit the relationship and find yourself a less burdened individual but then I sympathized with the chic as she too was in the dark. So, I have made a arrangements for them to see a counselor in the hope that they find themselves and hopefully resolve their issues. There are two outcomes here and I do not want to speculate the more likely one.

Are you are the girlfriend everyone seems to be avoiding? You constantly find yourself trapped in unhealthy relationships with men and cannot figure out why? Well, its time to board memory-train back into the past, critically examine your relationship with your father or the dominant male figure in your life and find out if you suffer from the Electra complex.

This month, I trust you will be able to say goodbye to relationships that are long dead or just damaged beyond repair, challenge is, can you identify one?

Hot Secrets: THE REAL DEAL ON THE ERIC-SHEBA-VALERIE LOVE TRIANGLE

Hot Secrets: THE REAL DEAL ON THE ERIC-SHEBA-VALERIE LOVE TRIANGLE