20 Questions

I swear @nkirdizzle put me up to this. Yes she did. Oh she is right, we all need to ask ourselves this questions because she is the Bomb dot Com.

What did I learn last week?

· That dreams come true. To dream without fear or restrictions.

· That delayed gratification is better than anything instant.

· To fight evil with good. Not to stoop to evil’s level, slinging shit around. To be the bigger man.

· To trust and love but think independently.

· That if a guy likes you; he will do anything to find and be with you.

· That if it was meant to be it will be, just do your best to be there when it does.

· That a game without rules isn’t a game and it ain’t any fun!

What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week?

· Finally meeting Ike (The big Kahuna) and having a rather “successful” meeting with several outcomes and way forwards.

Which moment from last week was the most memorable, and why?

· Obviously having the meeting with Ike. Boy that was something J I wasn’t even a second late. I was well-dressed, polite and composed… but mostly on the outside. Nervous smitten thoughtless wreck inside.

What is the 1 thing I need to accomplish this week?

· To stop dreaming about Ike every second of every minute of the friggin’ day! I am losing my mind over this charming.

What can I do right now to make the week less stressful?

· Focus on things that can get the damn HAWT guy out of my dreams and into my life… I mean just need him out of my head so I can actually get things done. I have real responsibilities you see; work, school, a life, bills, motorbikes and dining tables to buy. I almost forgot to tell you… I went window shopping for…. Wait for it…. A MOTORBIKE!! Boy did I see things that made me want to rob a bank, immediately! Then as if fate was actually urging me on, I bumped into my future dining table.

What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the upcoming week?

· Only Jill Scott knows what I am going though right now, “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep anymore… waiting for love to walk through the door, I wish I didn’t miss you anymore!.. More like I need the old me back; I don’t need this right now, not when I have so many important things going on. Don’t get me wrong I want to free fall and spin out of control but after the music is over someone will be needed to spin back into control, you haven’t the slightest idea how hard that can be.

What was last week’s biggest time sink?

· Stalking Ike on facebook… his photo, I am afraid is my screen saver J I nearly put it as my profile pic J but self restraint won’t let me.

Am I carrying excess baggage into the week that can be dropped?

· Huh? Did I mention how much I like Ike’s eyes, they are narrow, warm, soft, trusting, those that see through into my soul. We could just sit there and stare at each other all day long and I would have a great day still. Wah! Let’s not go the melting smile… where were we?

What have I been avoiding that needs to get done?

· This report, that report, this and that report, the then report, that planning session, those budgets, that trip home, the blogs, the follow up on pending promises… that lunch, those drinks, those job/ school applications and most importantly a Safari. (After much consideration, the SAFARI yanks top position on the priority list… that way everything else will get done, gotta take care of the body.)

What opportunities are still on the table?

· IKE!!! Tim is definitely off limits; we are not even discussing Andrew, Leonardo that is a subject I am always ready to put on the table and devour… wait a minute, what kind of opportunities are we referring to?

· There’s training opportunities all over- definitely taking advantage of those, opportunities to meet new people with great ideas, opportunities with the razor-sharp @justdes, opportunities to travel… hopefully see the world with Ike… I doubt I would see anything with his flyness beside me.

Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to?

· I took things a little too far with Valentino, I was a total jerk, ruined everything with my unruly ambition to write a valentine story… oh well, spilt milk. Moving on, c’est la vie. After all, I did call to apologize and felt a lot better but then I guess that will be a no go zone for quite some time. However, V did teach me something important: Commit to commitment!

Is there anyone that deserves a big thank you?

· Yeah that, big time… dude threw me a life line! Problem is my ego is too inflated to let me… but I will do it once I go on Safari, I am a lot reasonable when out seeing the world.

How can I help someone else this coming week?

· I’m helping reverse the effects of climate change, trying even harder to find the cures for preventable blindness and trying to create a literate society. Enough said.

What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years?

· Get married to Ike. Hilarious I know… yeah go laugh somewhere else. I am ready for love. Travel the world with Ike. Honestly, I just want to work with Ike. Learn from him. Learn with him. Have babies with him... if only they would have his eyes.

· Win the lottery. (I am targeting the Utahama Lini? promo by Nation newspaper)

· Do only the things I am passionate about.

Have any of my recent actions led me to closer to my goals?

· Did I not meet the man of my dreams? Am I not sending out the Nation house cut outs? Am I not fighting climate change?

What is the next step for each goal?

· Work hard, be brilliant, till Ike thinks, I want a wife like her!! “Now that is the mother of my children” “This hardworking sharp woman sitting right across me is my life companion” …I can literally visualize him proposing in the middle of a board meeting. “Babes, without you, saving the world is meaningless, will you forever save the world with me?” I hear him say, ring in hand atop the conference table. I being the lady, would tear up and sniff as many yeses as we need to stop climate change J and we would live happily ever after in conferences world over proposing environmentally friendly policies.

· Keep buying Nation newspaper.

· Keep saving the world with Ike, because they are both my passions.

What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week?

A date with Ike; apple pie with Ice-cream his favourites.

What are my fears?

· That life will not let me escape unscathed, that life will let me be scarred by relationships, that life will rob me of my infinite beauty, rape my innocence, fill me with bitterness and sorrow, turn me into a pessimist, corrupt the purity of my love, that life will milk the life in me dry.

What am I most grateful for?

· The gift of love, passion, compassion, trust, fidelity, loyalty, morals and ethics, laughter, humility and grace. Things both Ike and I posses and value.

If I knew I only had one week to live, who would I spend my time with?

Ike! Touring the world, making it a much better place.

Golf Vs Rugby: Fortuitous Rendezvous II

Seated beside my date; bored to tears watching other people dance, Leo walked into the hostelry alone looking sizzling hot and not to mention lost (without me I like to think). I spotted him immediately, lit up like a fireball from hell and sprung to my feet to make sure I didn’t lose him.

He hadn't spotted me and I wasn’t about to wait for him to find me in the throng of half-clad ladies-of-the-town flinging themselves at him, so I quickly asked to introduce my date to “some guy” (yeah right!!). Alas, they know each other. “Of course they know each other, bloody little neighbourhood!”, I cursed out loud. Expectedly they sat together, displacing me and started to chat the night away like little school boys, meanwhile I couldn't take my eyes off Leo’s brawny build.

My date was an estimable character; a together young man, lucid and if I may add, a teetotaler- exactly the advert I would put up for a hubby and father of my children. Nevertheless, with a body blazing with undisclosed desires; a sturdy rugby player is the only promising fire-fighter in the room not a golfer with his gentle manners and gloves in tow. Sorry golfers, just saying it like it is (forget Tiger Woods, that is on a whole new level).

As time passed the golfer was getting uncomfortable with the explicit banter between us and like the gentleman he is decided to give us some room, excused himself and started towards the gents. I wanted to stop the madness but I couldn’t; I was utterly helpless and Leo was clearly determined to ruin it for me, not that I minded much. Instead of fighting a war I knew I wouldn’t win, I involuntarily resolved to take pleasure in every fraction of every second he was gazing into my eyes, talking to me, smiling with me and being all jealous.

At that point I had moved seats; I was kissing his clean shaven head (half-bald), playfully teasing him as I whispered into his ear. I was enjoying it so much that I didn’t care my date was a little (a lot) pissed and ready to leave. I didn’t care that we might not take our vacation to Egypt as planned and I didn’t care that I would have a lot of explaining to do… ALL I CARED WAS LEO and that he was motioning to me to plant a kiss on his cheek as my date helped me into my coat.

I would have kissed him anywhere and everywhere without his asking, except that was neither the place nor the time. I would have stayed behind and enjoyed the evening some more, but too much of Leo is without a doubt the death of me. I would have let my date leave without me, except for that night he was my date. I would have stayed and put out Leo’s fire, but my house was an inferno.

I couldn’t have let my date drive me home because he would have asked what that was about and I am sure I wouldn’t have had the correct answers for him. I needed to demystify it to myself first. It goes without saying; I had to get myself a cab, that way I would drive quietly, relive the night with Leo and his evil charm.

If ever there was a passion of my life, this would be the chap. I would never get married to him though, even if he proposed on a romantic candle-lit dinner in tight rugby shorts on a spacecraft, for the simple reason that we would kill each other in passions untold HA!

...or is that what I like to think?

To be continued.

X-mass Attack!!

The typical me starts feeling X-massy in September, by October I have saved and shopped for gifts, by November whatever bookings that needed to be made have been made, recipes have been downloaded/ stolen, invites to partners in crime have been sent and mum has been briefed of my itinerary. Leaving nothing to chance, everything is set and ready to roll by 20th. That is how much I love X-mass.

That is why yesterday I was panicked and caught in a frenzy decided to call Santa... because I had a feeling, Daddey had dumped me. Okay, it was 21st of December and NOTHING was ready, I wasn't even ready; I definitely needed extension of time to patch things up and get my X-mass mojo back. See, I haven't been exceptionally good and I expected nothing less from Santa... clearly I had underestimated.

Me: ...ex-communication, really?? Santa, you have gone too far. Don't you think you are overreacting?

Santa: No No No!

Me: Even a little?

Santa: No No NO

Me: C'mon dude... could I have been worse than Lynne who kicked Jimmi out of her bed coz he was undergoing some post-traumatic stress you-know-where after they terminated his contract at work? or YY who has been having sex like a man? or Jumwa who is explicitly living and sexing 3 younger dudes in the name of sub-letting her bedrooms. C'mon sexy Santa, re-consider.

Santa: No No No

Me: You know what, you are a selfish imbecile and an overgrown baby in red diapers. If you are going to punish me for spinning out of control every weekend, with Mr.Alcohol and my life companion, then go ahead. But remember I am the one who never gave in to Mr. I-will-dump-my-girlfriend-as-soon-as-I-sleep-with-you, and I am still the one who (eventually) regained self restraint after flashing boobies on Skype a couple of times...

Santa: A couple????!!! Those were over **** times!! As far as I'm concerned it was a fully fledged scandalous affair with no limits whatsoever...

Me: Ok paps, lets not go into details... oh and never mind I was the one who got dropped from cloud-9 just when I was about to man-up and finally tell Funny boy how I actually felt.

Santa: Oh shut up!! You coward you... you were never going to and you know it.

Me: As I was saying, I am also a great albeit silent supporter of NO TO HOMO.... PHOBIA campaigns because I believe in ALL Human rights, and may I take this opportunity to say 'Good Job' to Muthoni Wanyeki the Executive Director KHCR and Esther Murugi, Special Programmes Minister for boldly stepping out to protect the rights of the minority. Forget my ulterior motive, at least Benjy and his boyfriend will (hopefully soon) comfortably kiss in the swimming pool and I can finally OPENLY brag about our shopping sprees...

Santa: Yeah yeah but whats in for me?

Me: um um... I will share their steamy fantasies with you Daddey :-)

Santa: Ho ho ho Brilliant! Not enough though, you need to commit at least 3 random acts of kindness before sun down if you want to have a proper X-mass.

Me: C'mon daddey...

Santa: No other way.

Me: DEAL!!

That is how I woke up with an X-mass attack, in high spirits, took a looooong shower (read extra 10 litres down the drain), helped eat (Not cook) pancakes and found myself being very kind to 3 beautiful girls who needed my help + I ordered lunch for me and the rabid HOT plumber. Talk of hitting three birds and a bonus with one stone! Seeing as the bible is very clear on; "let not the right hand know what the left does.." I am forbidden to narrate my acts of kindness, in other news though- Lunch was pepper Haat *wink*.

This festive season commit all sins, and most importantly commit a few random acts of kindness.

Merry X-mass to you and yours!!

PS: Remember, don't drink and drive accidents kill and don't drink and park accidents cause babies... just hail a cab :)

How I was on holiday.

I hardly ever go on holiday,first because the ATM laughs when I ask for a loan second all the R&R itches. It’s a shame but I am the anxious kind that doesn’t sleep soundly unless it’s on my desk, pen in hand and head on the keyboard (feel free to confuse this with industriousness). I only remember two ‘successful’ vacations where I had fun: Camping in Naivasha because it was a convenient 3 days buzzing with activities; arrive on a Friday afternoon, peach tents and bond with team, work the following day, ditch team and party till dawn with strange campers (wild KQ flight attendants; very good memories of Ms.Martini-ed meeting Mr.Martin). Sunday: Mini-hike, sample great cuisines, shop for souvenirs, visit to the spa, take pictures and sleep all the way back home.

Shortest holiday ever, Mombasa ’08: footloose and fancy free, end of exams, nursing a breaking heart, blotto- 7 days straight! Between one Wednesday and the other I remember three things: Blinding music and blaring lights, drinks and tattoos, hookahs and BEEEEAACHHes + stolen moments. Only one negative thing: someone swapped my ATM card with a bagful of beachwear that I never wear!

Recently it so happened that I had a change of jobs (again), at my age and with a devil-may-care attitude occupation-status change before you can say Jack Robinson. Betwixt clearing from one and reporting for the other, a week of being glued-to-the-couch-purposeless emerged. To many this would be perfect time for a holiday and that’s why I welcomed it arms wide open. This time nothing from the Wild West, just I and Mr. Couch, a stack of movies, face-book, a real-book, PS, quick stop at the salon and lots of dessert (Thanks to all the celebrating Leos). Seriously, without desserts there would be darkness and chaos.

I had doubts I would last the week, but drinks with Steve, the twins’ birthday, Karaoke with Ben, endless phone convos with Tim (about his real vacation in Maui) made it bearable. Body is all rested -almost developing bed sores-mind is fresh, and morale is high.

Tomorrow it’s back to the grind and I am not too sad.