Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts

Friday, June 17, 2011

20 Questions


I swear @nkirdizzle put me up to this. Yes she did. Oh she is right, we all need to ask ourselves this questions because she is the Bomb dot Com.

What did I learn last week?

· That dreams come true. To dream without fear or restrictions.

· That delayed gratification is better than anything instant.

· To fight evil with good. Not to stoop to evil’s level, slinging shit around. To be the bigger man.

· To trust and love but think independently.

· That if a guy likes you; he will do anything to find and be with you.

· That if it was meant to be it will be, just do your best to be there when it does.

· That a game without rules isn’t a game and it ain’t any fun!

What was my greatest accomplishment over the past week?

· Finally meeting Ike (The big Kahuna) and having a rather “successful” meeting with several outcomes and way forwards.

Which moment from last week was the most memorable, and why?

· Obviously having the meeting with Ike. Boy that was something J I wasn’t even a second late. I was well-dressed, polite and composed… but mostly on the outside. Nervous smitten thoughtless wreck inside.

What is the 1 thing I need to accomplish this week?

· To stop dreaming about Ike every second of every minute of the friggin’ day! I am losing my mind over this charming.

What can I do right now to make the week less stressful?

· Focus on things that can get the damn HAWT guy out of my dreams and into my life… I mean just need him out of my head so I can actually get things done. I have real responsibilities you see; work, school, a life, bills, motorbikes and dining tables to buy. I almost forgot to tell you… I went window shopping for…. Wait for it…. A MOTORBIKE!! Boy did I see things that made me want to rob a bank, immediately! Then as if fate was actually urging me on, I bumped into my future dining table.

What have I struggled with in the past that might also affect the upcoming week?

· Only Jill Scott knows what I am going though right now, “I can’t eat, I can’t sleep anymore… waiting for love to walk through the door, I wish I didn’t miss you anymore!.. More like I need the old me back; I don’t need this right now, not when I have so many important things going on. Don’t get me wrong I want to free fall and spin out of control but after the music is over someone will be needed to spin back into control, you haven’t the slightest idea how hard that can be.

What was last week’s biggest time sink?

· Stalking Ike on facebook… his photo, I am afraid is my screen saver J I nearly put it as my profile pic J but self restraint won’t let me.

Am I carrying excess baggage into the week that can be dropped?

· Huh? Did I mention how much I like Ike’s eyes, they are narrow, warm, soft, trusting, those that see through into my soul. We could just sit there and stare at each other all day long and I would have a great day still. Wah! Let’s not go the melting smile… where were we?

What have I been avoiding that needs to get done?

· This report, that report, this and that report, the then report, that planning session, those budgets, that trip home, the blogs, the follow up on pending promises… that lunch, those drinks, those job/ school applications and most importantly a Safari. (After much consideration, the SAFARI yanks top position on the priority list… that way everything else will get done, gotta take care of the body.)

What opportunities are still on the table?

· IKE!!! Tim is definitely off limits; we are not even discussing Andrew, Leonardo that is a subject I am always ready to put on the table and devour… wait a minute, what kind of opportunities are we referring to?

· There’s training opportunities all over- definitely taking advantage of those, opportunities to meet new people with great ideas, opportunities with the razor-sharp @justdes, opportunities to travel… hopefully see the world with Ike… I doubt I would see anything with his flyness beside me.

Is there anyone I’ve been meaning to talk to?

· I took things a little too far with Valentino, I was a total jerk, ruined everything with my unruly ambition to write a valentine story… oh well, spilt milk. Moving on, c’est la vie. After all, I did call to apologize and felt a lot better but then I guess that will be a no go zone for quite some time. However, V did teach me something important: Commit to commitment!

Is there anyone that deserves a big thank you?

· Yeah that, big time… dude threw me a life line! Problem is my ego is too inflated to let me… but I will do it once I go on Safari, I am a lot reasonable when out seeing the world.

How can I help someone else this coming week?

· I’m helping reverse the effects of climate change, trying even harder to find the cures for preventable blindness and trying to create a literate society. Enough said.

What are my top 3 goals for the next 3 years?

· Get married to Ike. Hilarious I know… yeah go laugh somewhere else. I am ready for love. Travel the world with Ike. Honestly, I just want to work with Ike. Learn from him. Learn with him. Have babies with him... if only they would have his eyes.

· Win the lottery. (I am targeting the Utahama Lini? promo by Nation newspaper)

· Do only the things I am passionate about.

Have any of my recent actions led me to closer to my goals?

· Did I not meet the man of my dreams? Am I not sending out the Nation house cut outs? Am I not fighting climate change?

What is the next step for each goal?

· Work hard, be brilliant, till Ike thinks, I want a wife like her!! “Now that is the mother of my children” “This hardworking sharp woman sitting right across me is my life companion” …I can literally visualize him proposing in the middle of a board meeting. “Babes, without you, saving the world is meaningless, will you forever save the world with me?” I hear him say, ring in hand atop the conference table. I being the lady, would tear up and sniff as many yeses as we need to stop climate change J and we would live happily ever after in conferences world over proposing environmentally friendly policies.

· Keep buying Nation newspaper.

· Keep saving the world with Ike, because they are both my passions.

What am I looking forward to during the upcoming week?

A date with Ike; apple pie with Ice-cream his favourites.

What are my fears?

· That life will not let me escape unscathed, that life will let me be scarred by relationships, that life will rob me of my infinite beauty, rape my innocence, fill me with bitterness and sorrow, turn me into a pessimist, corrupt the purity of my love, that life will milk the life in me dry.

What am I most grateful for?

· The gift of love, passion, compassion, trust, fidelity, loyalty, morals and ethics, laughter, humility and grace. Things both Ike and I posses and value.

If I knew I only had one week to live, who would I spend my time with?

Ike! Touring the world, making it a much better place.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

LEONARDO: Fortuitous Rendezvous I



Forgive me reader for I have sinned, I have hidden an important element from you for quite some time now and if I don’t confess, it will kill me. Why did I hide it? Because I thought it was special, but then again some special seeming things turn out to be fiendishly attractive, special complications.

Sooo Leonardo and I met… not once, not twice but thrice since the last time I talked about him. Before you rush me to the gallows, let me explain: we didn’t plan it, the universe did HA! You know me, I go with the flow, I don’t plan a thing, I hardly think with my head; my notorious heart decides and does on my behalf, I could be in bed one minute and my heart would be in Lokichogio falling in-love fast with a stranger.

No, Leonardo is not in Loki and the reason I haven’t updated my blog is not because I have been busy moving to Loki. But so what if I moved? Ok, ok I hear you, enough beating around the bush:

I bumped into the guy at Sherlock’s Den -Nanyuki Mall.

2. He has a girlfriend

3. We had a series of unusually stimulating gazes and there was a lot of unnecessary touching with our hands (ON the table where everyone could see them.)

4. There were a lot of laughs as the drinks kept coming.

5. We were TIPSY (Totally Inebriated Plus Seriously in Yen) albeit sufficiently sober to keep our lips off each other. Whether we were trying to fool the curious onlookers or we were genuinely fighting temptation is however unclear.

6. We were waiting for our guys to arrive; his girlfriend (funny he didn’t feel the need to brag about her) and my golfer/ photographer well-behaved friend and mentor who has wanted to chips-funga me since Red cross-Meru back in 2009.

7. We discussed motorbikes (as expected) and I was mortified for the lies I had told at our first meeting… Yep I confessed, why? Because I’m not a –good- liar and I thought this would be special, who isn’t attracted to an honest gorgeous lass. Did I mention we have trust issues? I am mentioning now, serious ones.

8. He gave me his number this time (and I had nothing to do with it-a block of TRUST built right there.)

9. He never called… or maybe he did, but it never went through because I don’t live in Loki and Loki has fickle signal. (This is what I like to think. Why? Because I sorta want to believe there is something here.)

10. I never called… but once, with a hidden ID (Lame!! I know) I wanted to wish him a Happy New Year, he didn’t pick, phewks!

Things stayed that way and I gave up on us, completely forgot the jamaa and even dated other people. Months later…

To be continued in Part II of this series.