Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boys. Show all posts

Friday, March 4, 2011

Golf Vs Rugby: Fortuitous Rendezvous II



Seated beside my date; bored to tears watching other people dance, Leo walked into the hostelry alone looking sizzling hot and not to mention lost (without me I like to think). I spotted him immediately, lit up like a fireball from hell and sprung to my feet to make sure I didn’t lose him.

He hadn't spotted me and I wasn’t about to wait for him to find me in the throng of half-clad ladies-of-the-town flinging themselves at him, so I quickly asked to introduce my date to “some guy” (yeah right!!). Alas, they know each other. “Of course they know each other, bloody little neighbourhood!”, I cursed out loud. Expectedly they sat together, displacing me and started to chat the night away like little school boys, meanwhile I couldn't take my eyes off Leo’s brawny build.

My date was an estimable character; a together young man, lucid and if I may add, a teetotaler- exactly the advert I would put up for a hubby and father of my children. Nevertheless, with a body blazing with undisclosed desires; a sturdy rugby player is the only promising fire-fighter in the room not a golfer with his gentle manners and gloves in tow. Sorry golfers, just saying it like it is (forget Tiger Woods, that is on a whole new level).

As time passed the golfer was getting uncomfortable with the explicit banter between us and like the gentleman he is decided to give us some room, excused himself and started towards the gents. I wanted to stop the madness but I couldn’t; I was utterly helpless and Leo was clearly determined to ruin it for me, not that I minded much. Instead of fighting a war I knew I wouldn’t win, I involuntarily resolved to take pleasure in every fraction of every second he was gazing into my eyes, talking to me, smiling with me and being all jealous.

At that point I had moved seats; I was kissing his clean shaven head (half-bald), playfully teasing him as I whispered into his ear. I was enjoying it so much that I didn’t care my date was a little (a lot) pissed and ready to leave. I didn’t care that we might not take our vacation to Egypt as planned and I didn’t care that I would have a lot of explaining to do… ALL I CARED WAS LEO and that he was motioning to me to plant a kiss on his cheek as my date helped me into my coat.

I would have kissed him anywhere and everywhere without his asking, except that was neither the place nor the time. I would have stayed behind and enjoyed the evening some more, but too much of Leo is without a doubt the death of me. I would have let my date leave without me, except for that night he was my date. I would have stayed and put out Leo’s fire, but my house was an inferno.

I couldn’t have let my date drive me home because he would have asked what that was about and I am sure I wouldn’t have had the correct answers for him. I needed to demystify it to myself first. It goes without saying; I had to get myself a cab, that way I would drive quietly, relive the night with Leo and his evil charm.

If ever there was a passion of my life, this would be the chap. I would never get married to him though, even if he proposed on a romantic candle-lit dinner in tight rugby shorts on a spacecraft, for the simple reason that we would kill each other in passions untold HA!

...or is that what I like to think?

To be continued.


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

LEONARDO: Fortuitous Rendezvous I



Forgive me reader for I have sinned, I have hidden an important element from you for quite some time now and if I don’t confess, it will kill me. Why did I hide it? Because I thought it was special, but then again some special seeming things turn out to be fiendishly attractive, special complications.

Sooo Leonardo and I met… not once, not twice but thrice since the last time I talked about him. Before you rush me to the gallows, let me explain: we didn’t plan it, the universe did HA! You know me, I go with the flow, I don’t plan a thing, I hardly think with my head; my notorious heart decides and does on my behalf, I could be in bed one minute and my heart would be in Lokichogio falling in-love fast with a stranger.

No, Leonardo is not in Loki and the reason I haven’t updated my blog is not because I have been busy moving to Loki. But so what if I moved? Ok, ok I hear you, enough beating around the bush:

I bumped into the guy at Sherlock’s Den -Nanyuki Mall.

2. He has a girlfriend

3. We had a series of unusually stimulating gazes and there was a lot of unnecessary touching with our hands (ON the table where everyone could see them.)

4. There were a lot of laughs as the drinks kept coming.

5. We were TIPSY (Totally Inebriated Plus Seriously in Yen) albeit sufficiently sober to keep our lips off each other. Whether we were trying to fool the curious onlookers or we were genuinely fighting temptation is however unclear.

6. We were waiting for our guys to arrive; his girlfriend (funny he didn’t feel the need to brag about her) and my golfer/ photographer well-behaved friend and mentor who has wanted to chips-funga me since Red cross-Meru back in 2009.

7. We discussed motorbikes (as expected) and I was mortified for the lies I had told at our first meeting… Yep I confessed, why? Because I’m not a –good- liar and I thought this would be special, who isn’t attracted to an honest gorgeous lass. Did I mention we have trust issues? I am mentioning now, serious ones.

8. He gave me his number this time (and I had nothing to do with it-a block of TRUST built right there.)

9. He never called… or maybe he did, but it never went through because I don’t live in Loki and Loki has fickle signal. (This is what I like to think. Why? Because I sorta want to believe there is something here.)

10. I never called… but once, with a hidden ID (Lame!! I know) I wanted to wish him a Happy New Year, he didn’t pick, phewks!

Things stayed that way and I gave up on us, completely forgot the jamaa and even dated other people. Months later…

To be continued in Part II of this series.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

X-mass Attack!!




The typical me starts feeling X-massy in September, by October I have saved and shopped for gifts, by November whatever bookings that needed to be made have been made, recipes have been downloaded/ stolen, invites to partners in crime have been sent and mum has been briefed of my itinerary. Leaving nothing to chance, everything is set and ready to roll by 20th. That is how much I love X-mass.

That is why yesterday I was panicked and caught in a frenzy decided to call Santa... because I had a feeling, Daddey had dumped me. Okay, it was 21st of December and NOTHING was ready, I wasn't even ready; I definitely needed extension of time to patch things up and get my X-mass mojo back. See, I haven't been exceptionally good and I expected nothing less from Santa... clearly I had underestimated.

Me: ...ex-communication, really?? Santa, you have gone too far. Don't you think you are overreacting?

Santa: No No No!

Me: Even a little?

Santa: No No NO

Me: C'mon dude... could I have been worse than Lynne who kicked Jimmi out of her bed coz he was undergoing some post-traumatic stress you-know-where after they terminated his contract at work? or YY who has been having sex like a man? or Jumwa who is explicitly living and sexing 3 younger dudes in the name of sub-letting her bedrooms. C'mon sexy Santa, re-consider.

Santa: No No No

Me: You know what, you are a selfish imbecile and an overgrown baby in red diapers. If you are going to punish me for spinning out of control every weekend, with Mr.Alcohol and my life companion, then go ahead. But remember I am the one who never gave in to Mr. I-will-dump-my-girlfriend-as-soon-as-I-sleep-with-you, and I am still the one who (eventually) regained self restraint after flashing boobies on Skype a couple of times...

Santa: A couple????!!! Those were over **** times!! As far as I'm concerned it was a fully fledged scandalous affair with no limits whatsoever...

Me: Ok paps, lets not go into details... oh and never mind I was the one who got dropped from cloud-9 just when I was about to man-up and finally tell Funny boy how I actually felt.

Santa: Oh shut up!! You coward you... you were never going to and you know it.

Me: As I was saying, I am also a great albeit silent supporter of NO TO HOMO.... PHOBIA campaigns because I believe in ALL Human rights, and may I take this opportunity to say 'Good Job' to Muthoni Wanyeki the Executive Director KHCR and Esther Murugi, Special Programmes Minister for boldly stepping out to protect the rights of the minority. Forget my ulterior motive, at least Benjy and his boyfriend will (hopefully soon) comfortably kiss in the swimming pool and I can finally OPENLY brag about our shopping sprees...

Santa: Yeah yeah but whats in for me?

Me: um um... I will share their steamy fantasies with you Daddey :-)

Santa: Ho ho ho Brilliant! Not enough though, you need to commit at least 3 random acts of kindness before sun down if you want to have a proper X-mass.

Me: C'mon daddey...

Santa: No other way.

Me: DEAL!!

That is how I woke up with an X-mass attack, in high spirits, took a looooong shower (read extra 10 litres down the drain), helped eat (Not cook) pancakes and found myself being very kind to 3 beautiful girls who needed my help + I ordered lunch for me and the rabid HOT plumber. Talk of hitting three birds and a bonus with one stone! Seeing as the bible is very clear on; "let not the right hand know what the left does.." I am forbidden to narrate my acts of kindness, in other news though- Lunch was pepper Haat *wink*.

This festive season commit all sins, and most importantly commit a few random acts of kindness.

Merry X-mass to you and yours!!

PS: Remember, don't drink and drive accidents kill and don't drink and park accidents cause babies... just hail a cab :)


Sunday, September 12, 2010

The party that was.




That I only write about boys in this Blog is false and doesn’t paint me fairly, I mean, I am not boy-crazy and its not like I don’t have any girlfriends. Ok, that is not entirely true; I am boy crazy, which is a little odd for my age –but I like to think of it as a phase that I sort of skipped in my teens :). Then I was too busy hating men and was obsessed with motorbikes, salsa and had just discovered HELLO magazine which left me zilch time for the lads.

So I had a farewell party to attend and was wondering, who to take with? Normally the usual suspects would make do but this outfit has become too small and needs re-designing and a bit of colour. The usual suspects are basically the girlfriends whose bad manners I have grown to tolerate and because I was allowed only +3 this is how I decided who to take.

Martin; my not so secret admirer was feeling a little below the weather, so a little crowd to cheer the bloke sounded like a plan. Since my dreams of joining the jet-flying forces crashed and burned I feel fulfilled hanging around pilots. In the past I have entertained the idea of aviation until the inseparability of physics and aeronautics became apparent. Damn you Mr. Rono for making the subject so incredibly hard to grasp. All I remember was this teacher’s rotting chest skin that oozed puss… where were we?

Neema; I had met her the other day through a mutual friend and she seemed like a ball of fun. She is charming, blessed with the gift of the gab, makes jeans, boots and checkered shirts look stylish, and boy the husky voice- mama mia I want to know this woman. That she curses worse than a sailor and smokes a train is tolerable.
The only other jeans-boots wearing woman I want in my circle would be Dr. Manji, the coolest researcher I ever met and as soon as I upgrade my status in academia I will invite her for coffee and intelligent chat about the endangered Patas monkey.

Samantha was out largely because these days she is Sam&Ocampo. Never alone. I actually enjoyed their company until I didn’t. Ocampo the fiancĂ© is hitting on me. It started out as a funny joke then his groping hands found my bum; yes some men are just gross. I have no intentions of telling her so don’t even go there. Experience has taught me different, things like these backfire on the victim and I don’t play ‘my word against yours’ his words. I’ll figure something out before they walk the aisle, I hope.

Mirror mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all? Jamie! She is the ultimate boy magnet without a doubt, so beautiful and funny that our table often flocks with men of all tastes, shapes and sizes much to my delectation: I always land one of her cute rejects. Don't give me that look? Don’t you already know how I suck at getting me a decent man?
Anyhoo Jamie couldn’t make it for she needed the kind of TLC only the beau can provide, it had been a looong Ramadhan.

Lastly, every pathological social climber needs a Serena a.k.a the directory of the Rich and Famous. Anyone interesting I want to meet she almost always has their contacts and thanks to her invites I have thoroughly enjoy hobnobbing with the who-is-who and glad to report that my social life is so vibrant its bad. To return the favour I invite her to my usually far apart drab gatherings which surprisingly she loves because she can take a break from toxic make-ups, speak imperfect English and carouse to the ground.

It was a wonderful send off for our friend until I absentmindedly agreed to go for Rumba night with the gang, NEVER again. Two songs and I was ready to blow my brains out. But in an interesting twist of fate I run into Funny-boy… great company. I haven’t quite established what he feels for me and I’m not sure I want to find out, just yet. Comes as surprise even to me that I should be the cautious one.

PS: For the damn bunnies that read this page: I haven’t altered the names and events herein. This is a recount of my life as it were :)

Monday, August 16, 2010

These words were mine 2.




This is how I know I have lost my mind, when I sing ‘Mariah Carey – I can’t live’ in earnest
No I can’t forget this evening or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that’s just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows, yes it shows
No I can’t forget tomorrow when I think of all my sorrow when I had you there but then I let you go
And now it’s only fair that I should let you know, what you should know
I can’t live when living is without you, I can’t live I can’t live any more
Can’t live when living is without you I can’t live
I can’t live anymore.


This situation right here is a little recent and thus raw, pardon me if I don’t tell much.
…I want you the right way/ I want you but I want you to want me too
I want you to want me just like I want you…
(Who sang this song? I forget)

Dear ‘Funny boy’
Since we rubbed feet under the table at that dinner, I haven’t slept much,
Thoughts of you ceaselessly torment me,
Images of you won’t give mine mind any calm,
Possibly it was a fleeting instant,
Perhaps the booze fogged up our judgment,
Or maybe it simply was what it was,
A moment,
OUR moment (breaks into song… a moment like this some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this oops! Wrong song)
I don’t know what to think, or what to make of it,
I just pray you have trouble getting shuteye too.
With love,
Xx.

Marc Anthony- You sang to me
I just wanted you to comfort me when I called you late last night you see
I was falling into love; yes I was crushing into love
Oh of all the words you sang to me about life the truth and being free
You sang to me/Oh how you sang to me
Boy I live for how you’ll make me feel/ so I question all this being real
Coz I am not afraid to love / for the first time I am not afraid to love
Oh this things** made for you and me /and you showed me what life needs to be
And you sang to me /oh you sang to me
All the while you were in front of me I never realized
I just can’t believe I didn’t see it in your eyes
I didn’t see it /I can’t believe it /oh but I feel it
When you sing to me
How I long to hear you sing beneath the cute blue skies
And I promise you this time I’ll see it in your eyes
I didn’t see it /I can’t believe it /oh but I feel it
When you sing to me

Just to think you live inside of me/ I had no idea how this could be
Now I’m crazy for your love/ I can’t believe I’m crazy for your love
The words you sang you sang to me and you showed me where I wanna be
You sang to me/ Oh you sang to me

**violin**

Jason Mraz –I’m yours
… I reckon it’s again my turn, to win-some or learn some
I won’t hesitate no more, no more/It cannot wait /I’m yours

Well open up your mind and see like me/ Open up your plans and damn you are free
Look into your heart and you’ll find love love love
Listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me/ I love peaceful melody
It’s your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved
So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait / I’m sure/There is no need to complicate / our time is short/ this is our fate /I’m yours
*insert beautiful guitar chords*
I’ve been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass and So I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I am saying is there is no better reason to reach yourself a vanity and move with the season
Our name is a virtue.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

These words were mine.



After I started on this blog; about all the songs I know word for word, I had an after- thought: how lame is that, no one will ever read it, and then I got this inspired notion… all the lyrics I know by heart I know for a reason, never mind the magnitude. Some I fell in love to, some I broke my heart to, some I just memorized while others I want to play on my wedding day (If that ever happens. I took a quiz on facebook that said I’ll get hitched at forty, drat! The future is bleak.)
I always say what a hopeless-romantic I am and this article might just be the demo :D. The words in these lyrics were pulled right out of my mouth.

PS: I was too lazy to download the original lyrics so I just wrote them as they sound in my head.

This first song is how I want my husband to love me. Not that I am married or anything, though I have this WEIRD feeling that I will, one day (at forty or thereabout) to a handsome man of average height whose name will be Thompson. He will be an older man in his early 70s, hale and hearty , full of life, bursting with mirth, wise as a sage, sexy as fcuk and of Italian origin (hopefully, so I can name our daughter Italia, live in Italy and have lots of Tiramisu). How deluded I must sound :)
Give it up for, Brad Paisely with “Then” or I thought I loved you then (!?)

I remember trying not to stare the night that I first I met you/ you had me mesmerized
And three weeks later on the front poach light/ taking 45 minutes to kiss goodnight
I hadn’t told you: that I thought I loved you then

Now you are my whole life/ now you are my whole world
I just can’t believe, the way I feel about you girl
Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it’s ever been
We’ve come so far since that day and I thought I loved you then

I remember taking you back to right where I first met you/ you were so surprised
There were people around but I didn’t care/I got down on one knee right there
And once again I thought I loved you then

I can just see you with a baby on the way/ I can just see you when your hair is turning grey
What I can’t see is how I’m ever gonna love you more/ But I have said that before
We’ll look back some day at this moment that we are in and I’ll look at you and say:
And I thought I loved you then.

********************************
At least every little girl I know has that little neighbor boy Keeve or Nash or Nazeel or Baus or Robin or Fidel who made her little heart thump fast, the one you couldn’t explain what you felt for coz they pushed you hard to the ground and ignored you all in the name of love. Yes the one you’d never admit to liking and would go to great pains to stay away from lest the entire class/ neighborhood started on the dreaded never-ending chorus “Stacy has a boyfriend”. The one who would make you run for the school bus to catch the seat next to his favorite so your hands would touch every time the driver hit the brakes.

With time these little boys grow up, Nazeel turns out to be that local drug dealer that no mother wants near their children and you wipe your brow and say “phewks, dodged bullet.” Baus being Baus and Hindu becomes very hard to relate to, what with everyone prophesying how you’ll never be married let alone live happily ever after. Inside, you’re glad he has a spine and is willing to fight for your love but slowly he folds along conventional lines and while at some far off boarding school ditches you for a certain Punjab girl. You are pleased to hear they didn’t last long.

Keeve turns out to be that asshole that sent you that ONE love letter in high school, poem in tow, professing his undying love only to hear that Madea and Lornah got copies as well, how special!

Fidel doesn’t get much of an education and ends up in the police department. You thank your lucky stars for his lack of ambition when you are charged with a DUI and he comes to your rescue. At the next ‘babes gone wild’ you offer to be the designated drunk driver. Isn’t that what friends are for?

Robin, the one who got away, matures into the typical knight in shining Armani but disappears into thin air right before you lay your hands on him, no one knows his whereabouts and neither facebook nor the obituaries can confirm his existence.
This following song captures the air around my Nash who grew up to be this genius of a guy and even though it didn’t quite work out, I like how warm and electric it feels when we meet.

Love story by Taylor Swift
…See you make your way through the crowd and say hello
Little did I know that you were Romeo
You were throwing pebbles and my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And I was crying on the staircase begging you please don’t go
And I say Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all we got to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
This is a love story baibe just say yes.

I got tired of waiting wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading, when I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said Romeo save me I’ve been feeling so alone I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I know what you’re thinking knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said
Marry me Juliet you never have to be alone I love you and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad go pick out a white dress this is a love story baibe just say yes.

**** Cont'd...