Tuesday, December 18, 2012

At sea

Forgiveness holds but so much promise …but does it restore? Does forgiveness reinstate? I doubt that that is in forgiveness’ job description, people love to overstretch its capabilities, maybe in blind hope, desperation perhaps, they just want things to be all better, as in the case of a wizard and the wand. Magic. Miracle. I seek truth, for I have forgiven… or so I think, but I am far from restoration.

So what if time doesn't heal? What if the healing isn't worth the time? Everything happens so fast, one minute she is the young blemish less dame, having a rollicking good time, then the very next minute you are the damned son-of-a-bitch that must take responsibility. No shit. Sometimes for jerk. Bloody! What if you jumped back in after intense moments of insurmountable doubt, engulfed by strong waves of irrefutable fear, fear that you will be letting go of your own salvation. Fear of losing; the one thing that mattered the most. Fear of a life in the absence of this thing you once thought was gifted to you by the universe. Fear of being the coward, the one that gave up. You wake up the following day to find that you have made your bed and now you must lie in it. Was it too late, to make amends? A case of, too broken to fix? Irreparable, perhaps? You ask yourself among a myriad of other questions. You cannot trust your judgment, it failed you once before, you have to trust time, not for healing, but to take you there, to that place where you can make that vital decision.

In my struggle, I have found that you must un-anchor the vessel and head out to sea, to see if the sail will hold… only then can you ascertain the stuff you are made of and how to work out your own salvation; restoration. At sea.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

"Kuku" about Kiwi

Ok ok... I am a little "Kuku" about KIWI and I will tell you why...

See I have a date with a possible love of my life later in the evening, baada ya kazi (si you know how we do on Friday evenings) so this morning I spent some quality time in front of the mirror trying to put my best foot forward, you know how we ladies are...lazima kung'ara... so the look wouldn't be complete without my best/fave/expensive/exquisite... the list continues pair of boots.

Then guess what?

You probably know of Murphy's law right? You know the whatever could go wrong will almost always go wrong... Yep! On stepping out of the house it started pouring and I had to make for work in the rain and in my best boots... Imagine the horror of showing up for an important (Possibly romantic) date with ruined shoes... eish not good, not good, not good ever, totally damaging to a girl's image and self-esteem.
Anyways, this time I was ahead of Mr.Murphy, thanks to my KIWI polished boots, nilipita katikati ya maji na matope bila 'was' hahaha na sasa nitatoklezea for my date na fyatu filifyong'ara na ma-confidence.

This dude better like me!! :)


Saturday, May 26, 2012

Gerald and Maxine: An introduction

Maxine: Astonishingly beautiful.
Gerald: Terribly romantic..

Maxine: Inveterate reader
Gerald: Struggling writer

Maxine: Cool, calm and collect
Gerald: Loose cannon

Maxine: City girl. Lady. The kind you would find in Upper Manhattan.
Gerald: Country boy under a hat. Texan type. Rural.

Maxine: Career woman- Corporate Communications' strategist. Co-founder and CEO of her company.
Gerald: Small time entrepreneur- Sells farm produce off the back of his truck- His way of saving the world.

Maxine: Refined vocalist
Gerald: Quirky athlete

Maxine: Girlfriend to a business tycoon in the city, they have been together nine months or less.
Gerald: Single.

Maxine: Skeptical about marriage. Free spirit.
Gerald: Lover.

Maxine: Thinks Gerald has nice smile and likes that he smells nice.
Gerald: Head over heels over Maxine; she brings wonders to his feet... something only a girl who reads is capable of.

What do they have in common?  A troubled chemistry.
How did they meet? A book fare or off the internet. No one cares to remember.

What is this series about: The big bang. Anything really... nobody knows how this one ends.

Relationship to this blog: The narrator is Gerald's confidant.